I write stuff for me
I write the things in my head, to make sense of them, to set them free and sometimes to see what other people think of it. Feel free to contact me if you have any feedback
contactLatest Blog Posts
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Words 2
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Words 1
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Tweet
Anxiety is a stone in my chest. An unbeating heart lying in wait. My body numb with fear of being pushed – away – back into the abyss. — Cindy DB (@cindydb_ZA) April 5, 2013
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Tweet
I sometimes feel muted by amazing writing. As if my mind will not say the words it has read – but it brings the pleasure of contentment. — Cindy DB (@cindydb_ZA) April 5, 2013
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That day
*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING* My mom & stepdad used to entertain a fair amount when I was still at school. This night there was one friend of theirs visiting. Charles was probably in his late 40′s? He was interesting. He was a great artist. I always wanted to learn to draw and he invited me to [...]
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Never enough part 1
“You only get the one pill?” This is what I hear every morning when the nurses hand out our meds after breakfast. And every morning I look at the palm full of pills the other patients take, and I wonder what the fuck I’m doing here. I’m clearly not sick enough, not depressed enough. “It [...]
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On Monday, I broke
On Monday, I broke. A few different things happened recently and the snowball effect took my feet from under me. I tried to ask for help, but I had managed to push away so many people that the places I used to ask for and get help just weren’t there anymore. Everyone I asked was [...]
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Fainting and what death feels like
"It's a strangely beautiful feeling. Nothing matters in that moment when you just let go. Wonder if that's what death feels like."
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Bucket List 2013
So I just read this lovely bucket list by @Bangersandnash and I thought to myself, maybe this is exactly what I need! We all have these almost dreams of things we want to do, but never do. So I’m gonna write them done, and do them. If I get some done, awesome, if I don’t, hell at [...]
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2012
2012 was a disappointment – of my own making. I’ve been trying to find something to say about 2012 for a month now. I started this yearly review thing and now it feels like I have to. But it’s also pretty awesome to sit and look back at a year. And yes, 2012 was the [...]
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ADHD
I realised I’ve been losing my fight with ADHD, so I’m reading and planning and doing my best to get better. These notes are mostly reminders for me, but might explain the way I act to some friends. From: Your Life Can Be Better: using strategies for Adult ADD/ADHD Puryear MD, Douglas A. Chapter 3: [...]
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Masters
Those tiny letters after your name intimidate me. The hours you spent: reading/writing/knowing superfluous things generally banished to a dusty shelf of a well visited library. The words you know and use with syllables more than the letters in my name. The ones my tongue just can’t wrap around, that flit from my mind just [...]
